


Fusion

by ninjamming



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 04:16:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12903840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjamming/pseuds/ninjamming
Summary: A look inside the food van.





	Fusion

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make this just a straightforward PWP thing but... This came out instead. The amount of interaction these two get when they're not arguing is annoyingly sparse, so I apologise if it's a little OOC.
> 
> Also I'm way too invested in this couple so I'll probably write more behind the scenes type stuff if people want me to.

Looking back on this day for months afterwards, Kate hardly remembers moving to the back of the van. She only knows that after a certain point it’s unanimous and unspoken. They hardly spare a moment apart to clamber into the back and shut the door before their mouths find each other automatically, despite the dark and gloom.

She certainly remembers every second of her mouth on Rana’s; every second of their tongues meeting; every second of desperate touch as their hands explore each other’s body. As they learn the shape of each other’s mouths – initially fitting imperfectly, slow and full of trepidation - the kisses soon grow familiar and increasingly heated. Pretty soon Kate is well versed in the amount of pressure Rana enjoys, and the perfect spot to graze her teeth over to draw a gasp out of her. Rana’s a quick learner too, finding faster than any lover before her that Kate loves having her hair touched - she basically becomes putty if someone grabs it to direct her while they’re making out. Somewhere along the way Rana’s hair was taken out of its bun too, falling forward and tickling Kate’s face.

It’s weird to remember exactly who it is she’s kissing. This is Rana, her friend. Someone she’s hung out with time and time again; been to clubs with; watched Netflix with; cursed; cried over; fantasised about; loved. It’s Rana that she’s pressing against the countertop of the van, and lifting up onto the surface. It’s Rana that wraps her legs around her waist.  

Rana – her friend’s wife.

She’s  _married_.  
  
_(don’t think about that don’t think about that)_

Not only that, it’s the first time she’s properly kissed Rana, without the fear of someone walking in or interrupting. In fact, it’s the first time she’s kissed Rana without much fear at all. It’s the first time she’s kissed Rana without walls, or feeling like she was the butt of some cruel joke. She’s never really understood Rana until now, and that she’s just as scared as Kate is. She always puts up this front of being an ice queen, beneath a veneer of easygoing humour. Inside however, she’s anything but.

For Kate, who wears her feelings on her sleeve and has always been able to shout loudly about her identity, this has always confused her.  She’s always taken Rana at face value, interpreting her inner feelings and motivations based on her actions. Several times now she’s made the mistake of thinking Rana was deliberately trying to hurt her or that she found the whole thing amusing somehow. But that’s not at all how Rana works. She’s had to hide her entire life, smoothing down the less accepted edges of her identity in public. But falling in love with another woman while already married to a man is apparently one sharp edge she can’t file down. It’s no wonder Rana keeps cutting herself and everyone else on it.

In between kisses she remembers accusing Rana of being homophobic and seeing her crying in the street, begging for them to be friends again. Imagining how alone Rana must have felt makes her heart ache, and want to beg for forgiveness. If there’s anything Kate hates about herself it’s her tendency to jump to conclusions; she’s always assuming and taking shortcuts in understanding people’s motivations. When she remembers doing that to Rana, it makes her touch softer, more tender. She hopes she can somehow undo all the years of solitude with her lips, or spell out her apologies with her fingertips. Inside however, she knows she’ll never truly be able to undo that pain.

It seems like Rana knows, anyway. In between the more heated kisses she’ll slow too, her touch becoming more reverent. The knees bracketing her hips press into Kate’s sides every so often, a silent expression of pleasure whenever Kate touches a sensitive area. The position is oddly intimate; she knows what’s close. She’d give anything to touch her, to  _feel..._

But not yet. They’re still half-clothed for one, although it’s not long at all before she’s dragged Kate’s coat off by the fluffy lapels and dropped it unceremoniously somewhere on the floor. Moments later Rana’s jacket and both of their tops join the growing pile. It’s cold in the van but all that does is make Kate shiver, shift closer, kiss her harder.

They’re moving fast - maybe too fast.

‘Should we slow down?’ Kate’s words are punctuated by a violent shiver at the feel of Rana’s cold, searching fingers tracing her abs. She jumps away at the freezing touch, but then she’s moving back towards it again, craving that contact. An apt description of her relationship with Rana.  
  
‘I don’t care,’ is the half groaned response. ‘I need this... I need you.’  
  
It seems like she’s telling the truth, judging by the desperate way she’s kissing Kate. Like she might disappear under her questing hands at any moment. Like she’s trying to commit her to memory while she can. However there’s still a little resistance on Kate’s side, who’s so wary of giving herself over to this girl... Knowing once she does there’s no return. She’ll drown, and she’ll probably do it happily.  
  
But Rana cups her face, tips her head back and responds so sweetly and passionately to her kisses that Kate’s defences aren’t long for this world. When she pulls on Kate’s hair a little - makes her groan, push her back further into the counter, hips questing upwards - she’s pretty much a goner.  
So despite the protests of her own brain, her hands move up, boldly cupping both of Rana’s breasts.

Rana’s nipples are already hard beneath the fabric, given how cold it is - the sensitivity, however is all down to Kate. ‘Kate...’ she whimpers against her mouth, arching her back. Her fingers tangle deeper in Kate’s hair, bunching and unbunching, guiding Kate this way and that.  
  
It’s been a while since she touched a woman like this - Imogen was never so responsive. But Imogen didn’t make her feel like she could never be close enough either. Nor did Caz. It seems like nothing comes close to this.  
  
Kate breaks the kiss and stands back a little to watch Rana’s face as best she can in the gloom. A dizzying sense of power overcomes her watching those flickering expressions of pleasure crossing her face. A gasp when Kate brushes her breast with her palm, quaking when a thumb daringly grazes her nipples.  
  
Kate could do this forever. Even though in her mind there’s still that litany of ‘What the hell are you doing?’, somehow it’s all worth it. It’s worth it to feel Rana quiver and hear her moan like that. It’s worth it for this first moment of clarity, where she can see once and for all the hold she has over Rana. There’s unabashed desire looking back at her; for once Rana can’t hide in behind alcohol, or jokes. She can’t hide that shallow breathing. She can’t hide the love in her eyes.  
  
Nor can Kate, it seems, because the words, ‘I love you,’ fall from her lips before she can stop herself. Not that she’d want to.  
  
Rana breathes out her name and leans in to kiss her again.

At the same moment Rana’s hand unexpectedly slides its way between Kate’s open legs – her thigh follows suit, knocking Kate’s legs out of the way. She stops just short of applying pressure with either one, hanging back, waiting, nervous.  
  
Kate’s mouth falls open against Rana’s in shock. Her hands fall away to balance herself on the counter, trying to steady her suddenly wobbly legs.

Everything stills for a moment.  
  
She can hardly see Rana – and her vision has just gone a little blurry - but her features are just about discernible. Her teeth are sunk into her lip, breath coming in nervous, low pants. Kate almost speaks, to ask if she’s sure, or to reassure her that she doesn’t have to do this if she’s not ready.

But then Rana presses her fingers deeper,  _harder_ , making tiny circular motions with her fingertips, and –

And Kate groans. A guttural noise she can’t help, that seems to come from deep within her and reverberate around the tiny space they’re in. Her eyes roll back, and her mind goes blank.  
  
Fuck.  
  
It’s all she can do to hang on to Rana for dear life. The pressure is deliciously hard, exactly what she’s needed after the constant build up of the last few weeks. Because much as she’d hate to admit it, she’s daydreamed of this moment: looking into Rana’s eyes, hearing her breath catch with excitement when she notices just how wet Kate is. Lips barely a hair’s breadth away from each other, sharing the same air. Feeling Rana’s fingers against her which quickly find the right spots after some experimentation. Just like their kisses, Rana seems to learn how her body works faster than she ever did.  
  
Even so...

There’s something not quite right.

Kate isn’t sure what.

Maybe it’s self preservation. Because a voice is screaming that Rana is still taken. Even if she now understands how difficult this has all been for the other girl. Even if her body wants this so badly (god what she’d give to take those fingers inside of herself, to ride her with abandon)...

There’s a line here that she still can’t quite cross yet.  
  
‘R-Rana... Rana.’ Even as she speaks, Rana’s still touching her, and her hips are still moving, bucking. It makes it incredibly difficult to think clearly. ‘Oh,  _fu_  - Rana, we need to stop.’  
  
‘I don’t want to stop,’ Rana whines, dropping kisses onto her neck with bruising force. ‘Kate, please... I’ve wanted this so long...’  
  
Kate’s neck is incredibly sensitive at the best of times, and feeling the lips she’s been dreaming of for months now grazing her skin feels like being in Heaven and Hell simultaneously. Almost certainly the other woman can feel the moisture soaking through her leggings and underwear.  If she doesn’t stop now she’s probably going to embarrass herself.

Hating herself almost as soon as she does it, Kate takes her by the shoulders and pushes her away. The whimper Rana lets out is adorably cute, and oddly arousing, but she can’t think about that right now or she’ll lose it all over again.  
  
‘Rana, I said stop,’ Kate says firmly. ‘This isn’t the right time, or the right place.’  
  
The sudden lack of contact is a startling contrast. For the first time, she becomes aware of how cold it is in the van. As Rana’s hands settle on her arms in a safer location, her ring brushes Kate’s skin. Just that small action causes nausea to pool in her stomach, as it all comes flooding back.

Fuck. This is Rana.

She’s married.  
  
The space and distance appears to sober them both. Eventually their breath settles – or at least Kate’s does. Rana’s has become choppy and laboured, because she’s started to cry once again. Despite herself, Kate melts.

She can’t resist that tear stained face and trembling bottom lip. Never could.  
  
‘Hey...’ She cups Rana’s cheeks, stroking her thumbs beneath her eyes to catch the falling tears. ‘Rana, don’t cry. It’s okay.’  
  
‘It’s not,’ says Rana. Kate can feel her face crumpling. ‘Nothing about this okay.’  
  
‘It is, it’s  _fine_ ,’ she repeats. Even though it’s not. Rana’s right. This is so wrong. This is so not her. ‘I’m sorry for stopping, but I really do think we should slow down.’  
  
Rana lets out a tremulous breath, and slowly shakes her head. ‘I’m not upset about that.’  
  
‘You aren’t?’  
  
‘No...’ She hesitates. ‘Well... Maybe I am. Kind of. I don’t know. It’s complicated.’

Kate shifts from foot to foot as she waits for the explanation, suddenly painfully aware of the fact they’re both half naked. And also that she’s painfully aroused still. Rana is beautiful at the best of times, but there’s something about seeing her so vulnerable and open to Kate that seems to turn her on like nothing else.  
  
Focus. Rana is talking, and her voice trembles with the same fear she showed in the pub, discussing the prospect of her parents disowning her. This isn’t the time. Shoving all of that aside, she says comfortingly, ‘You can tell me.’

‘I know... It’s just...’

‘Seriously,’ says Kate. ‘I meant what I said earlier. You can talk to me.’

Rana leans her forehead against Kate’s shoulder. ‘Kate...’ She whispers her name; the final aspirated T of her name makes her breathe a shallow stream of cold air against Kate’s goosebump-covered skin. She suppresses a shudder, because there are more important things right now. ‘I’m so scared.’  
  
‘Of what?’

She’s almost afraid to ask. There are so many potential things – Zeedan, Alya. Luke. She doesn’t even know about that last one yet, even though he’s promised not to say anything. And then there are the numerous fears Kate could never understand regarding Rana’s parents, since as was mentioned, coming out was never an issue in her family. Homophobia was never something she truly had to deal with until Rana. Even then she turned out to be wrong.

‘I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on,’ she says anyway.  
  
It takes an age for Rana to speak. Kate would have thought she’d fallen asleep or something if it wasn’t for Rana’s mindless touch, covering her back, her hips, her sides. Even now she’s still trying to commit Kate to memory while she has the chance. ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen once I leave this van. Things have been so topsy-turvy between us for ages now. For all I know, you might go back to hating me... You might decide to go to Spain after all.’  
  
‘I wouldn’t –’  
  
‘And the worst part is that it wouldn’t matter either way,’ she says, voice barely audible. ‘No matter what you do... I have to go back to knowing I’m going to hurt someone. Including myself. I have to go back to knowing that whether I lie, or whether I’m honest - I face losing people I care deeply about. No matter what, someone is going to hate me. Whether it’s you, or Zee and my family. When I leave this van, I have to choose between losing my family and everything I’ve known... And losing you.’  
  
She’s crying again. Kate feels a lump rising in her throat too, but ignores it in favour of passing her hands soothingly up and down Rana’s arms.  
  
‘I wanted to enjoy this moment while I could. I just wanted to pretend, for a little while, that everything was normal and I was just... Just your girlfriend, making love to you. Not worrying about anything else...’  
  
Making love. The phrase has always sounded a little twee to Kate, a cliché people threw out to make themselves feel better. But hearing Rana say it now somehow makes Kate’s gut twist with some unexplained mix of emotion. Excitement, apprehension... Sadness. Because even though she wants more than anything to give in and let Rana make love to her right now, doing it here just isn’t right.

Rana deserves better than some messy fuck in a food van.  
  
‘Shh... Hey, it’s okay.’ She pushes the hair out of Rana’s face gently, kisses the tears away. ‘I’ve got you. It’s okay.’  
  
How can she reassure her when she isn’t even sure herself? Rana clutches her like she has all the answers, but the truth is, Kate has no idea what she’d do in Rana’s position. It’s easy to say she has to be true to herself, but faced with the prospect of losing everything she’s ever known, it’s not as simple as that.

Still, she has to say something. Rana’s spilled her heart to her twice today, each time revealing more of her fear. She’s been so brave. Her poor, sweet, terrified girl.  
  
‘To tell you the truth, I’m scared as well,’ she confesses. ‘Absolutely bricking it, in fact.’  
  
She sniffs. ‘Really?’ says Rana, voice hopeful, but still hoarse from crying.  
  
‘Yes. It’s probably nothing compared to what you’re feeling... But I think I do get it. I’m scared to let you in, in case I get hurt. The selfish part of me wants you to pick me right now, so I can stop worrying. But the rest of me hates the idea of you getting hurt even more. And then, despite all that...’ She laughs, even though it’s not funny. ‘I can’t seem to stay away from you. I can’t get you out of my mind. So I have no idea what to do, either.’

‘That makes two of us,’ says Rana bitterly. ‘Honestly, you’ve been driving me bonkers the last few months.’

‘Same here.’ She takes Rana’s hands in her own. ‘Look, Rana. I can’t promise no one is going to get hurt. Like you said, it’s gonna happen. I also can’t promise things are gonna be sunshine and butterflies, because it definitely ain’t. But...’ She squeezes Rana’s hands. ‘I can promise that I’m going to be here, with you. I can promise I’ll listen from now on. And I can promise you, that I have never hated you and I never will. No matter what. I mean...’ She shrugs, almost embarrassed by the words falling out of her mouth. A week ago Kate would have laughed at herself spilling clichés like these, being so lovestruck that all the old lines suddenly make sense. ‘How could I, when I love you this much?’  
  
Rana sighs. Her lips find Kate’s, and they kiss again, briefly - once, twice.  
  
‘Anyway, like I said, this isn’t the right time or place. It’s bloody cold for one,’ Kate adds teasingly, trying to get a smile, ‘no way I’m getting my kit off here.’ The joke finally makes Rana smile tearfully, and the anxiety in Kate’s chest loosens. ‘There we go,’ she murmurs, and reaches out to trace her bottom lip. ‘I love your smile.’  
  
That gets another smile, more genuine this time. She wraps her arms around Rana and holds her, aware of the added intimacy of skin against skin. She feels closer to her somehow; the situation feels more intimate than if they’d had sex. Hormones don’t disguise the vulnerabilities of their various states of undress, and the fears that have been shared.

As they part, Rana’s lips curve up in a smile as she looks down – surveying Kate. Her roving eyes almost make Kate want to hide, but she resists the urge. Instead, she enjoys the look on the other girl’s face as she takes Kate in. Awe isn’t quite the right word, but it’s something akin to that. Her hands slip into Kate’s hair, nails gently scratching at her scalp. Kate tries not to purr.  
  
‘One day,’ Rana promises, her voice low, ‘I’m going to finish what I started here. And then I’ll be the one driving  _you_ crazy.’

Kate grins, even as a now familiar heat starts up in her stomach. ‘Trust me... I’m going to hold you to that.’

 


End file.
